Montreal

[Boeing Jet]

As a Montrealer now living in Ontario,(still have residence) I thought I would share some helpful tips for those who dont visit often. The tips I remember from a book called "The Anglo guide to suvival in Quebec" If you ever find a copy, get it and enjoy.



Tips



1."Contrary to what you heard from your mother, no shots are required for a visit to the east end. you can drink the water,although many residents perfer not to"



2. "Motorized vehicles- cars,trucks,motorcycles,hearses,etc., travel at 100km/h in the right-hand lane. The left lane is reserved for motorists making illegal turns"



3. A red light means proceed with caution, green means go, and yellow means go like hell"



4. Cycling: If you're into dangerous sports...try cycling east of St.Laurent. It's the white -water rafting of east-end transit"



5. "The proper beer to drink in an east-end tavern is draft, and the way to order it is by holding one, two, or three fingers in the air when a waiter is nearby"



6. "One should also be aware of how to interpret traffic signs and signals: STOP/ARRET or, more commonly,ARRET with STOP painted over, means slow down to 50 km/h to entice pedestrians off the curb:



7. Stationnement Interdit means No Parking unless you can't find any place to park"



"all above have been qouted from the above mentioned book"

[duncanpa]

Man, I need to find that book...Montreal is the only city that I have been to that consistently has drivers speed up whenever a pedestrian tries to cross the road!!

[1650shawn]

[quote name='duncanpa' date='10 May 2010 - 05:29 PM' timestamp='1273526985' post='16696']

Man, I need to find that book...Montreal is the only city that I have been to that consistently has drivers speed up whenever a pedestrian tries to cross the road!!

[/quote]

Didn't you know there is a prize if you hit one? <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... ey-054.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':poke:' />

[njlondon]

[quote name='duncanpa' date='10 May 2010 - 05:29 PM' timestamp='1273526985' post='16696']

Man, I need to find that book...Montreal is the only city that I have been to that consistently has drivers speed up whenever a pedestrian tries to cross the road!!

[/quote]





As I was born and raised in Montreal I think I should add a few things you all should know.







1. A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.



2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Quebec driver never uses them. Use of them in Montreal may be illegal.



3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.



4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."



5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.



6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.



7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.



8. Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the backup.



9. Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful information. They are only there to make Quebec look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the provincial police radar car parked on the median.



10. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.



11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.



12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.



13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone is just changing a tire.



14. Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.



15. It is assumed that provincial police cars passing at high speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach.



16. Learn to swerve abruptly. Quebec is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to potholes.



17. It is traditional in Quebec to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.



18. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way, except in Montreal where it acts as an invitation to duel or play chicken.



19. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. In Quebec it is common to stop and then decide which direction to turn.



20. Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.



21. Real Quebec female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye makeup, and balance the check book at seventy-five miles per hour during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic.



22. Real Quebec male drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic during daylight hours (who would want to at night?).



23. Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

[duncanpa]

Say....is that GiGi the Queen of Smiley's.....Where you been girl??? How's the entrapreneur doing??

[duncanpa]

Dang...have to brush up on my aggessive driving skills....lived in Winnipeg and drove many a times through St. Boniface...Manitoba's Quebec !! <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... oflmao.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rotflmao:' />

[njlondon]

[quote name='duncanpa' date='10 May 2010 - 07:44 PM' timestamp='1273535055' post='16708']

Dang...have to brush up on my aggessive driving skills....lived in Winnipeg and drove many a times through St. Boniface...Manitoba's Quebec !! <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... oflmao.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rotflmao:' />

[/quote]



This will help get the idea.

Speed, pass on the inside, cross double lines, then do it faster.



[media]http://www.youtube.c...h?v=mhztiIdOpDo[/media]

[dwaxman1]

Welcome back GIGI!!

[Boeing Jet]

Not a bad video at all. BUT that being said, at 8:30pm there isn't much traffic. Great video just the same.