[quote author=guccilulu link=topic=991.msg9919#msg9919 date=1246292137]
[img width=96 height=90]http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt65 ... icon24.gif[/img]
WELCOME TO TEXAS.......HEEEE HAAAAW...............GIT-R-DONE....
[/quote]
ONLY IN THE USA <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... >/grin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... >/grin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... >/grin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' />
POST A JOKE......HAVE FUN
-
T.C.
- CHC Trail Guide
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:25 pm
- Location: ST. SAUVEUR
-
T.C.
- CHC Trail Guide
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:25 pm
- Location: ST. SAUVEUR
Re: POST A JOKE......HAVE FUN
the jiffy pop is a good one <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' />
-
shotgun-cam
- CHC Trail SuperGuide
- Posts: 2037
- Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 2:09 pm
Re: POST A JOKE......HAVE FUN
Rhino's favorite song I'm in pieces ,bits and pieces. I know Hummers are good off road just didn't know it meant in shop and on a hoist.
Oh yes xmas gathering in Kingston is set 4pm at east side marios at exit611 on 401 see meets
Oh yes xmas gathering in Kingston is set 4pm at east side marios at exit611 on 401 see meets
-
shotgun-cam
- CHC Trail SuperGuide
- Posts: 2037
- Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 2:09 pm
Re: POST A JOKE......HAVE FUN
Funny News A local Barrie Radio station ROCK 95 reported their mascot pig 'pinky' has escaped from a Barrie park. The inflated balloon pig was scene floating out of town by the downtown Apt. buildings. The local Toronto CBC tv station at 6pm today estimated the Pig is somewhere between Barrie and Orillia over Lake Simcoe. This means Pilots now have to watch out for a Flying Pig as well as Large birds. A 1000 dollar reward has been offered dead or alive . Here's the local paper's story.
http://thebarrieexaminer.com/ArticleDis ... ?e=1638369
Be very Quiet we're hunting flying pigs !!!
http://thebarrieexaminer.com/ArticleDis ... ?e=1638369
Be very Quiet we're hunting flying pigs !!!
Last edited by shotgun-cam on Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
Roy
- CHC Trail SuperGuide
- Posts: 1926
- Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:21 pm
- Location: Stratford,Ontario
Re: POST A JOKE......HAVE FUN
one from a realtor friend...
> >
> >Ever had a colonoscopy? You must read this!
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > > > I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an
> > > > appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his
> > > > office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy
> > > organ that appears to go all over the place,at one point
> > > passing briefly through Minneapolis.
> > > > Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a
> > > > thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
> > > >
> > > > I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he
> > > > said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A
> > > > TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
> > > >
> > > > I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a
> > > > prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a bo x large
> > > > enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail
> > > > later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the
> > > > hands of America's enemies.
> > > >
> > > > I spent the next several days productively sitting around
> > > > being nervous.Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my
> > > > preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid
> > > > food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water,
> > > > only with less flavor.
> > > >
> > > > Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets
> > > > of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it
> > > > with lukewarm water.
> > > >
> > > > (For those unfamiliar with the metric sys tem, a liter is about
> > > > 32 gallons.)
> > > >
> > > > Then you have to drink the whole jug.
> > > >
> > > > This takes about! an hour, because MoviPrep tastes
> > > > - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with
> > > > just a hint of lemon.
> > > >
> > > > The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody
> > > > with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose,
> > > > watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after
> > > > you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
> > > >
> > > > MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too
> > > > graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-! shuttle launch? This is pretty
> > > &g t; much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle There are times
> > > > when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours
> > > > pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate
> > > > everything.
> > > > And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have
> > > > to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can
> > > > tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that
> > > > you have not even eaten yet.
> > > >
> > > > After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The
> > > > next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.
> > > > Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been
> > > > experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage .. I was thinking,
> > > > 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for
> > > > something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
> > > >
> > > > At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I
> > > > understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.
> > > > Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went
> > > > inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one
> > > > of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that,
> > > > when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are
> > > > actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my
> > > > left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was ver y
> > > > good, and I > was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people
> > > > put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't
> > > > thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got
> > > > yourself too> tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering
> > > > around in full
> > > > Fire Hose Mode. You would have! no choice but to burn your
> > > > house.
> > > >
> > > > When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure
> > > > room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.
> > > > I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around
> > > > there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point Andy had me
> > > > roll over on my left side,and the anes thesiologist began hooking
> > > > something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the
> > > > room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen'
> > > > by ABBA. I remarked to Andy
> > > > that, of all the songs that could be playing during this
> > > > particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least
> > > > appropriate.
> > > >
> > > > 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind
> > > > me. 'Ha ha,' I said.
> > > >
> > > > And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more
> > > > than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am
> > > > going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
> > > >
> > > > I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment,
> > > > ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine, and
> > > > the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very
> > > > mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt
> > > > excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all
> > > > over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never
> > > > been prouder of an internal organ.
> > > >
> > > > ABOUT THE WRITER:
> > > > Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for
> > > > the Miami Herald.On the subject of Colonoscopies...
> > > >
> > > > Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the !
> > > > exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed that the following are
> > > > actual comments made by his patients (pre dominately male) while he
> > > > was performing their colonoscopies:
> > > >
> > > > 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has
> > > > gone before!
> > > >
> > > > 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
> > > >
> > > > 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
> > > >
> > > > 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
> > > >
> > > > 5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
> > > >
> > > > 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
> > > >
> > > > 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand
> > > > out...'
> > > >
> > > > 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
> > > >
> > > > 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
> > > >
> > > > 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
> > > >
> > > > 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
> > > >
> > > > 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
> > > >
> > > > And the best one of all.
> > > >
> > > > 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is
> > > > not up there?'*
> >
> >
> >
> >Ever had a colonoscopy? You must read this!
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > > > I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an
> > > > appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his
> > > > office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy
> > > organ that appears to go all over the place,at one point
> > > passing briefly through Minneapolis.
> > > > Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a
> > > > thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
> > > >
> > > > I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he
> > > > said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A
> > > > TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
> > > >
> > > > I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a
> > > > prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a bo x large
> > > > enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail
> > > > later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the
> > > > hands of America's enemies.
> > > >
> > > > I spent the next several days productively sitting around
> > > > being nervous.Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my
> > > > preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid
> > > > food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water,
> > > > only with less flavor.
> > > >
> > > > Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets
> > > > of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it
> > > > with lukewarm water.
> > > >
> > > > (For those unfamiliar with the metric sys tem, a liter is about
> > > > 32 gallons.)
> > > >
> > > > Then you have to drink the whole jug.
> > > >
> > > > This takes about! an hour, because MoviPrep tastes
> > > > - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with
> > > > just a hint of lemon.
> > > >
> > > > The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody
> > > > with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose,
> > > > watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after
> > > > you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
> > > >
> > > > MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too
> > > > graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-! shuttle launch? This is pretty
> > > &g t; much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle There are times
> > > > when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours
> > > > pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate
> > > > everything.
> > > > And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have
> > > > to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can
> > > > tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that
> > > > you have not even eaten yet.
> > > >
> > > > After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The
> > > > next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.
> > > > Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been
> > > > experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage .. I was thinking,
> > > > 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for
> > > > something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
> > > >
> > > > At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I
> > > > understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said.
> > > > Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went
> > > > inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one
> > > > of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that,
> > > > when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are
> > > > actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my
> > > > left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was ver y
> > > > good, and I > was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people
> > > > put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't
> > > > thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got
> > > > yourself too> tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering
> > > > around in full
> > > > Fire Hose Mode. You would have! no choice but to burn your
> > > > house.
> > > >
> > > > When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure
> > > > room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.
> > > > I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around
> > > > there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point Andy had me
> > > > roll over on my left side,and the anes thesiologist began hooking
> > > > something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the
> > > > room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen'
> > > > by ABBA. I remarked to Andy
> > > > that, of all the songs that could be playing during this
> > > > particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least
> > > > appropriate.
> > > >
> > > > 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind
> > > > me. 'Ha ha,' I said.
> > > >
> > > > And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more
> > > > than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am
> > > > going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
> > > >
> > > > I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment,
> > > > ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine, and
> > > > the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very
> > > > mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt
> > > > excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all
> > > > over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never
> > > > been prouder of an internal organ.
> > > >
> > > > ABOUT THE WRITER:
> > > > Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for
> > > > the Miami Herald.On the subject of Colonoscopies...
> > > >
> > > > Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the !
> > > > exam were quite humorous... A physician claimed that the following are
> > > > actual comments made by his patients (pre dominately male) while he
> > > > was performing their colonoscopies:
> > > >
> > > > 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has
> > > > gone before!
> > > >
> > > > 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
> > > >
> > > > 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
> > > >
> > > > 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
> > > >
> > > > 5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
> > > >
> > > > 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
> > > >
> > > > 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand
> > > > out...'
> > > >
> > > > 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
> > > >
> > > > 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
> > > >
> > > > 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
> > > >
> > > > 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
> > > >
> > > > 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
> > > >
> > > > And the best one of all.
> > > >
> > > > 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is
> > > > not up there?'*
> >
> >
-
T.C.
- CHC Trail Guide
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:25 pm
- Location: ST. SAUVEUR
Re: POST A JOKE......HAVE FUN
<img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' /> <img src='http://www.canadianhummerclub.com/forum ... iggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' />.....